You Are Not Alone Ministries
My Testimony
GILDA M. TAYLOR
Founder
In my life before Christ, I practiced passionate obedience without hesitation. I satisfied the desires of my heart, which included committing adultery and smoking marijuana. In 47 years I had five beautiful children, three miserable marriages, 10 years of physical, mental, and emotional abuse, 10 years of sexual and mental abuse for my three daughters, and 10 years of emotional distress for my two sons. At the end of it all, I was empty, disillusioned, and sick of myself. I needed something or someone to fill the hole in my gut. I even thought going back to church might help. Then my youngest daughter invited me to go to church with her. There I found the key to living a satisfied life – total surrender to Jesus Christ! He raised my head from the pit of shame and blame that overwhelmed me. He forgave me my sins! He loved me! I came without hesitation into His arms, passionately obedient to His call for salvation.
Three weeks later, I plunged passionately and without hesitation into another marriage to an unbeliever. After two weeks I saw how miserably I had failed God. I also heard Christ saying that I’d have to live with this mistake. Yet in His love, He did not desert me. He has helped me through every moment, through all the good and the difficult days. At times He comforts. Other times He changes my husband’s heart and actions. He keeps me going. God even gave me the gift of a passion for teaching His Word. Yet I didn’t know exactly what to do with this passion. And what about the weight I had gained and my credit overload? My life was out of control in many ways. “Help me!” was my frequent prayer. Then another daughter invited me to attend the Inspire! Women conference with her. I agreed because I would get to hear my favorite artist, Damaris Carbaugh, sing in person! I came, not looking for specific answers but open to God’s leading. In the conference folder was an application for Gideon 300. I felt a nudge. “Is that You, Lord?” I wondered. Without hesitation, yet not knowing exactly why, I filled it out. ”OK Lord, if You want something to come of this, so be it.” That application meant I had to attend the “Developing the Whole Woman” course taught by Anita Carman. In one of my homework assignments, I spoke of my dissatisfaction with my weight. Inspire! Women made it possible for me to attend First Place, a weight management program at First Baptist Church. Since April 2004 I have lost 30 pounds and two dress sizes!! I also explored my educational options through the College of Biblical Studies Teaching Track. But I never even thought about doing anything immediately because I didn’t want my husband to resent the time it would take away from our time together. Then I received a CBS scholarship to attend Bible Study Methods, one of the courses in the teaching track! My heart jumped! Was God saying to do this now? Would my husband get mad if I started classes now? I accepted the scholarship and waited for God to move. He did - my husband supported me! In april 2005 I completed the Teaching Track thanks to scholarship assistance from Inspire! Women. Today my life is completely changed! My outlook is positive. God’s vision for me is still not perfectly clear. And that’s OK. For today I can pray wholeheartedly as did Mary, the mother of Jesus: “Behold, O Lord, Your maidservant. May it be unto me as You have said.” Passionate obedience? Living life without hesitation? YES! I can now move forward with the Lord passionately and without hesitation! God has rekindled my passion for Him. He has shown me that He will provide what I need if I will just continue to trust Him and move when He says move – without hesitation! I call each of you ladies to answer the call of the Lord on your lives! Love Him passionately enough to do what He births in your heart without hesitation!
